Does Starting Over Late In Life Affect A Person’s Mental Health And Sense Of Identity? By Duke Mma

Editor's note: In this piece, mental health specialist Duke Ezikpe Mma examines how starting over late in life can impact mental health and identity, emphasising the roles of resilience and self-responsibility in navigating change, overcoming setbacks, and finding renewed purpose.

Starting over in life can affect individual mental health and sense of identity depending on the individual resilience or adaptive ability.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

• Resilience
• Blaming

Resilience

World Health Organization (WHO), defines mental health as,

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“The ability to realize potential, which will result in productive activities, fulfilling relationships with other people, and providing the ability to adapt to change and cope with adversity (resilience) and giving back to society”.

From the above definition, you will realize that the keyword that can lead to starting over without affecting individual mental health and sense of identity is resilience.

What is resilience? This is a dynamic ability to adapt successfully in the face of adversity or significant threat. Resilience is a continuum, as it can change across an individual lifespan. What breaks one, makes the other strong.

For an individual who is less resilient in the face of adversity and setbacks, will have his or her mental health status affected negatively. Once individual mental health is affected, the individual will tend to lose the sense of identity and in turn, every aspect of the individual life will be affected, sooner or later the individual will be covered with the cloak of negativity and hopelessness that beclouds the present and the future.

For an individual who is highly resilient in the face of adversity and setbacks, their mental health status will be affected positively, often leading to growth and increased strength. Once an individual's mental health is improved through challenges, the individual will tend to gain a stronger sense of identity and in turn, every aspect of the individual's life will be positively influenced. Sooner or later, the individual will be enveloped by a sense of positivity and hopefulness, which illuminates both the present and the future.

What is the result of the above contrast, Individuals who lack the capacity to move on become trapped, and the ones who can move on will get the strength and insight to forge ahead and make headway even in the midst of very unseemly and challenging circumstances. From this, you discover that people are different in the way they manage their emotional and life challenges.

Blaming

The second factor that can cause individuals not to move on while starting over late in life to an extent it affects our mental health and sense of self-identity is blaming. It is easier to blame than to take responsibility for what happened. Blaming is about pushing the epicenter of the cause of your misfortune from self to others. The one who blames the other person may never find the strength to do what he or she needs to do to get help and find a solution. Like the Professor who returned to Nigeria after several years of staying in Canada can blame the system, marriage, society and family. If he does not take responsibility, starting over will be an illusion.

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Blaming is a mental self-space that gives false safety to the occupant and in turn, handicaps them from making progress to change whatever is happening around them. Blaming operates as a deceptive psychological asylum, giving a superficial sense of security to the individual who occupies it. By assigning fault externally, the blamer avoids confronting their role in a situation and the discomfort of taking responsibility for change. This hinders their ability to learn, adapt, and ultimately progress beyond their current circumstances. This tendency to externalize blame becomes a significant impediment, especially when considering the prospect of starting over late in life.

When an individual habitually resorts to blaming external factors or other people for their lack of progress or current dissatisfaction, they effectively relinquish their agency. They become passive recipients of their circumstances, rather than active agents capable of shaping their future. This mindset is particularly detrimental when facing a significant life transition like starting over later in life. Such a transition often demands introspection, acceptance of past choices, and a proactive approach to building a new path.

If an individual's default mode is to blame, the prospect of starting over can trigger many negative impacts on their mental health and sense of identity. Instead of viewing a late-life change as an opportunity for growth and reinvention, they may frame it as further evidence of external forces acting against them.

In contrast, an individual who can take ownership of their past, learn from their experiences, and focus on what they can control, even when starting over late in life, is far more likely to experience positive mental health outcomes and develop a strong, adaptable sense of identity. They view challenges as opportunities for growth and approach new beginnings with a sense of agency and possibility, rather than being weighed down by the unproductive burden of blame.

Therefore, the tendency to engage in blaming behavior acts as a significant obstacle to personal growth and can severely complicate the already challenging process of starting over late in life, negatively impacting mental health and the ability to forge a new and meaningful sense of identity. Overcoming this habit and cultivating self-awareness and responsibility are crucial steps toward navigating life's transitions with resilience and a positive outlook.

Sense of identity is the level of awareness one has of themselves. If this awareness is positive, the individual can regain control but if the awareness is negative, the individual loses control which makes starting over late in life very difficult.

Duke Ezikpe Mma, Nextdoor_Therapy

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Legit.ng.

Duke Ezikpe Mma is a Mental Health Specialist, Educationist, Coach, and Writer dedicated to mental wellness and advocacy. As the founder of Where Do Broken Hearts Go and Grayscale Support Group, he provides safe spaces for individuals facing mental health challenges.